Fractional life !

Every morning is not so different these days, as i woke up with a thin blanket covering me from rest of the world and my head which has adjusted itself somehow, somewhere in between two pillows last night, i feel extremely comfortable. The folding which has elevated me just a little above the floor makes me feel as if i am hanging above the floor with my stuffs. This moment pauses for a while but suddenly my latched brain triggers, it’s time! time to get up and get going. The moment which I just began to live, has suddenly bubbled out and the brain is saying “it’s time to start the Xerox machine for warm up”. yes, indeed! Life - a Xerox machine and the works i do is the cartridge. Even, with time, if you change it and put in some high class, it will only show you a little improvement, only a little. No matter, how hard or deep you try, improvement will always be just a little! The moment which i wanted to live, love and feel, only for few more seconds is the ‘delay time’ as defined in my second semester course. Basically, or it would be better to say ‘more precisely’ i am living my life in delay time. The fractional gap when my mind actually wakes up and the moment it starts working, i live the moment of transition.

Once started, it goes the same way, almost every day. But to be true, most of the days, it adds some real-life learning and some knowledge too. Since my childhood, i have always heard a powerful sentence which my ‘dadaji’ use to say, “ जो धन जैसे आत है, वो धन वैसे जात |”. therefore, for me it’s always have been so important that how the money is coming in, is it the hard way or the left way? I have witnessed my dad’s hard way earning and believe me, i know, how to be true to yourself? The only person you can cheat is yourself! So, the left way is not my thing and the hard way is not everyone’s thing. so now, officially, i am the rebellious one! Somehow i reached 5 pm. I need to brush out the things happened inside the thousand acres, so i will ride, sometimes faster sometimes slower, when i go fast, i let lose all and race with the wind. i know they are hitting me from front but i am a player by heart, i won’t give up. Other times i ride slow, never touching even my average speed allowing the slow winds go inside me and clean me up from deep and then fill it up with smell of mango flowers which makes me feel like i am somewhere near my home. Both the ways, i get off my bike, fresh.

Now i can feel, i have earned next 4-5 hours for my ‘me’ time. I live it with no rules, no plant, no future, no goal, no aim, no care (but i do care for my falling hair!) just these hours of me, with me and for me. the ‘delay time’ of morning, the ‘me’ time of evening and the 7-km ride with the wind keeps me alive.